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I write in my gratitude journal (almost) every evening. It’s how I finish my day. I like the feeling of recounting all the little things, and big things, fun, silly and wonderful things that happened throughout the day. I like to remember the kindness that I witnessed, and the goodness in people and the world. And I like to use it to get out ahead of my tomorrows.

Today was one of the most poignant to date. My state is on fire and my home was surrounded by converging forest fires. Friends have lost homes while others were spared. We evacuated. And we came home. And now, I sit here in my beautiful home, surrounded by all my books and knickknacks, my kids (4-pawed) and Richard, understanding a new level of gratitude for my life, and those I love.

Leaving was at a moment’s notice and it was a very interesting experience. It was time to go. I looked at everything and chose what would fit in the car with my husband, Emma (dog), Gooper, Max, Bobanna and Scooter McGrooder Skye (4 cats). I already had all my important papers in a case, but as I looked at everything else, there was a deep knowing and understanding that it was only a reflection of what was. Wherever I go, my husband —my love, my rock amidst troubling emotions, my calm in chaos — and my kids are my home. Everything else is decoration.

We stayed in a hotel, far and away from any forest or tree. I laid awake all night thinking about what was happening, and what may or may not happen. I thought about the two pictures I grabbed — one of my first cat Amy and one of me and my beloved horse, Chantilly. What I regretted not grabbing were my recipes. The reflection of years of my passion for cooking as a professional chef — all may disappear. I took nothing else but clothing and food for 4 days, understanding that at the end of that time we would be starting new or going home. I came to be at peace with either scenario.

I laid awake thinking about what my life has been to this point, what I still dream of and listening to my husband’s soft snoring. Emma laid by the door, one eye closed and one eye watching me, ready to stay at my side when I moved. The cats found various places to rest — though I don’t think any really slept. I knew that no matter what the next day held I would be OK. Everything I loved most in this world was in the room with me, or safe in Bend, Van Nuys or Shakopee. I knew that no matter what happened I would be OK because I carry my home within my heart.